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Going on a first date can be equal parts exciting and nerve-wracking. You may wonder how to introduce yourself, what questions to ask, and how to keep the conversation going.
If you’re in this situation, you’re not alone. “It’s completely normal to be nervous for a first date,” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships.
However, there are steps you can take to prepare for your date and improve your chances of making a good impression. Keeping a list of questions handy can help you get to know your date and have an engaging conversation with them.
In this article, we suggest some tips for making conversation on a first date as well as some questions that may come in handy.
7 Things You Shouldn’t Talk About on a First Date
Dr. Romanoff shares some tips that can help you prepare for a first date:
•Keep a list of potential conversation topics: If you tend to feel nervous or anxious, it can be helpful to keep a list of potential conversation topics on your phone. The list could include questions to ask as well as funny anecdotes you can talk about. Knowing you have this list in case you get nervous and freeze up can help you relax on the date.
•Ask open-ended questions: Open-ended questions invite people to talk about their feelings and share more information about themselves.
•Listen actively: Actively listen to what your date is saying. Ask follow-up questions to show them you’re interested. For example, if you ask them which magic power they want and they respond, you can ask them why.
•Avoid conducting it like an interrogation: No one wants to feel like they’re being interviewed or sized up while they’re on a date. Avoid focusing on your date’s resume or the list of schools they’ve been to.
•Focus on genuinely getting to know the person: The best way to get to know someone in a genuine way is to learn about the details of their life and what gets them excited. For example, you can ask about their morning routine, their favorite dessert, or how they spend their Sundays.
Casual and Light-Hearted Questions
These are some casual and light-hearted questions that can help you get to know your date: What’s your favorite meal? What does your ideal weekend look like? What’s the most fun thing you’ve done recently? What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day? Who’s your celebrity crush? What was your dream job when you were a kid? What kind of music do you like? What’s your favorite book/movie/show/podcast? Do you prefer the outdoors or indoors? What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken? What’s the most bizarre dream you’ve ever had? What’s one thing you can’t leave home without? Which is your favorite place in the world? What’s the most embarrassing nickname you’ve ever had? What’s the most adventurous thing you would like to do? What’s the most hilarious thing that’s ever happened to you on vacation? What’s your hidden talent? What's the weirdest food combination you've ever tried that turned out to be surprisingly great? Do you have a favorite word that you think is just delightful to say or hear? What’s the most surprising fact you know that always blows people’s minds?
Deep and Meaningful Questions
These are some meaningful questions that can help you connect with the person on a deeper level: What’s your best quality? What’s your worst quality? What does “home” mean to you? What’s your favorite childhood memory? Who are your role models? What is your relationship with your family like? What is your idea of happiness? Where do you see yourself five years from now? What goal are you working toward right now? What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now? What does retirement look like to you? What’s a skill or quality you would like to develop in yourself? Have you ever experienced a life-altering moment that changed your perspective? What do you consider your biggest accomplishment so far? What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever been through? How do you cope when you’re upset or stressed out? What are you most grateful for? What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? What’s your worst habit? If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Questions for Navigating Awkward Silences
If there’s a lull in the conversation, you can ask your date a hypothetical question to spark the conversation and reengage them. These are some questions that can help you fill an awkward silence: If you could have any superpower, what would you pick? If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? If you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? If you had three wishes, what would you ask for? If you could go back in time and witness a historical event, which one would you choose? If you could have dinner with anyone (living or dead), who would you pick? If you could invent one thing right now, what would it be? If you could befriend any animal, which would it be? Which movie best represents your life? Which actor would you pick to play you in a sitcom about your life?
First dates can sometimes be awkward, particularly if there are large gaps in the conversation. Having a list of engaging questions can help you break the ice, get to know your date, and create a connection with them.
Practice asking open-ended questions that start with "who," "what," "when," or "how" instead of binary questions that lead to a yes or no answer.
Remember to breathe, lead with curiosity, and thoughtfully answer any questions asked of you. Take your time getting to know this new person and then consider how you feel and whether or not you'd like to spend more time with them after the first date.
Dating Tips If You Want a Relationship
By Sanjana Gupta
Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.
- Fun Get to Know You Questions for the First Date. Getting to know someone is an adventure in itself! As you learn about each other, it's fun to ask silly and random questions that might give you a sense if you're of whether you're on the same page together.
- Deeper Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone. Once you're past the first date, asking good questions to get to know someone better can help you as you go from casually dating to a potential relationship.
- Get to Know You Questions for Couples. Now that you've been dating for a while, here are some questions to ask when things are heating up. Remember, getting to know you questions for couples should not feel like an interrogation.
- Question Games to Get to Know Your Partner. Asking questions is one of the best games to play to get to know someone. Here are some get to know you questions for couples for any stage of a relationship.
1. What made you interested in going out with me? Okay, hear me out. A question like, “Do you like me?” on the first date is a surefire conversation ender, “whereas an open-ended question like...
Apr 18, 2024 · Below, I outline my favorite first- (or second-, third-, or fourth-) date questions and conversation starters. Here is what they will do for you: help you to gauge more quickly if you have a connection. get to know their personality, history and areas of compatibility more quickly. encourage great conversation.
Feb 8, 2024 · Never know what questions to ask on a first date? Prepare for a good time. Maryn Liles. Updated: Feb 8, 2024. First dates can get pretty exciting, especially when you feel that special...
Apr 18, 2024 · #1 What’s something I would never guess about you? Most people aren’t as they appear. This question is an excellent icebreaker that helps dive through stereotypes and pre-conceptions so your date can tell you something unexpected about themselves. #2 If you could get on a plane right now to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
