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- Know why you are considering a courageous conversation. In every action, you must understand the impetus for progress or impediments to success. Ask yourself the following questions to build an objective foundation for the discussion
- Choose whether to have a courageous conversation. When considering a courageous conversation, a leader must define the bias for action — or accept the results of inaction.
- Understand the objective of the courageous conversation. Like a military operation, success must be defined before undertaking action. Simply answer two questions
- Consider the situation from the other’s shoes. As in most aspects of leadership, empathy is critical in courageous conversations -- it helps build trust.
People also ask
What are courageous conversations?
What if you don't choose a Courageous Conversation?
How can Courageous Conversations Empower your leadership?
Where does courage come from?
- Stay Engaged
- Experience Discomfort
- Speak Your Truth
- Expect and Accept Non-Closure
- Maintain Confidentiality
- Listen with The Intent to Learn
- Suspend Judgement
- Acknowledge What's in The Room
- Set Aside Time
- Model What You Hope to See
It can be tempting to check out an uncomfortable conversation, but this is typically just a defense mechanism. Being able to disengage is a privilege and leaves the weight of the conversation on others. Staying present, even if you don't say anything, provides space for others who do want to share.
Being triggered is part of having uncomfortable conversations, and that's okay. The point of a courageous conversation is not to isolate or ostracize anyone. It's to say the unsaid — to call attention to the fallacies in our thinking. These conversations are challenging, but ultimately safe spaces.
The Denver Foundation says “We are experts in defining our own experiences and personal realities.” It is healing to have a space where you can show up and be fully, authentically yourself. Be willing to say the hard things. When you’re brave and speak up, you empower others to do the same.
There is no quick solution for social justice. The real work doesn't always happen in protests, marches, and policy change. Some of the most valuable work is done between people in small settings who are willing to understand and learn from one another.
Honor the space that you're creating by keeping everything that is said in confidence. Workplaces are unusual settings for conversations about inequities, and people need to be able to share openly without fear of retaliation.
Even if you don't want to talk, you can participate in the conversation. Listen with openness and the intent to just take away something new, whether that's about racial consciousness or about your colleagues' experiences. Signing up for a courageous conversation doesn't mean committing to have your mind changed or admitting to any wrongdoing; it m...
Understanding privilege and implicit biasmeans that first, you have to suspend your judgment. It’s hard for each of us to release our certainty that the way that we see things is the right way. But the fact is that none of us have all the answers. Remember that everyone is the expert on their own experience. Assume that whatever someone is saying i...
What is the trigger for this conversation? Usually, courageous conversations happen when they can't not happen — when something, whether inside or outside the workplace, triggers the need to have the conversation. Unfortunately, that means people may already have strong feelings about the topic. Tell your employees that you are providing a space fo...
Let everyone know that this conversation will be happening, and set aside a dedicated time for as many people to participate in it. Don't just drop it into a meeting that's already on the calendar, because people may feel blindsided or too nervous to participate. A good practice is to set intentions for the time in an email (in advance), restate th...
Have the meeting start with everyone in one space, and then break out into smaller groups. This way, leaders can talk about their feelings and set the stage for authentic communication. Believe it or not, people do need permission from their leadership to share how they're feeling without fear of repercussions. If you can model this kind of open an...
Courageous conversations in the workplace are about broaching complex and sensitive subjects like race and privilege with your team, boss or HR manager. They are the sort of conversations that can stir strong emotions, which might feel out of place for work, and they require careful and mindful discussion.
Courageous conversations are those that are initiated with the purpose of discussing issues that are difficult and uncomfortable, such as talking about systemic racism or lack of women in leadership.
Our Courageous Conversations are critical, sometimes defining, acts of leadership. They deserve focused and skillful preparation to increase the likelihood of successful outcomes.
What are courageous conversations? Courageous conversations are the difficult to broach subjects with those close to you – at home with your spouse, at work with your colleagues, boss or HR representative, or even with a client.
To have a courageous conversation requires a leader to make the decision to overcome their fear of conflict and relationship damage. Mandela needed the courage to have difficult conversations with PW Botha and FW de Klerk – two conservative apartheid supporters.
