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Jan 21, 2020 · Ultimately, there are many reasons why a person might feel they aren't grieving as much as they expected. Only some are related to things like avoidance, denial, and complicated grief. In this article, we're going to discuss a few of the more common ones.
People also ask
Why am I not grieving as much as I expected?
Is grief just as expected it to be?
Is it normal to not feel grief?
- Grief rarely happens like you expect it to. Usually, surprises are fun… but not the surprises grief gives you. Grief can hit you at the most inopportune times, and be so overwhelming that it makes your knees buckle.
- You may be avoiding grief. As a grieving person, you need to face it and work through it. Here are a few ways you may be avoiding your grief: Taking care of others – your kids, your surviving parent, or your grandparent.
- You may be in the “denial” stage of grief. Denial is a “stage” of grief where you will deny that the death happened. This is the stage of grief that will help you through the first few hours, days, or even weeks following the death of your loved one.
- It’s OK if you didn’t have a close relationship with the person who died. There are times when a relative dies and you have not had a close connection to them.
- Grief may be abbreviated because something quickly takes the place of the thing lost. A person enters a new romantic relationship quickly following a breakup.
- Grief may be abbreviated because the person felt little attachment to the loss. A person was never close to the parent who died. A person had already drifted apart from a friendship that ended.
- Grief may be abbreviated because they already experienced anticipatory grief. An anticipated job layoff. An anticipated breakup. Watching a loved one slowly die of cancer.
The common grief pattern is usually people who show an elevation of symptoms — depression, distress, difficulty concentrating, etc., and somewhere within a year or two, they return to normal. And the third type are those who don't show any disruption in their normal functioning.
- Processing grief is extremely important. If not handled properly, grief can lead to severe depression and anxiety that can negatively impact a pers...
- During a crisis, it is normal to not feel grief, at least to some extent. Denial is common in these situations. However, avoiding the truth and not...
- People experience grief differently. Mourning the loss and dealing with it is a long process that varies and is unique to each person. However, the...
- If grief is not noticeable or manifests in a way that’s untypical according to societal norms, it’s called hidden grief. The term is also sometimes...
- Death is the most obvious reason to grieve, but it's not the only one. Abandonment, financial or materialistic loss, physical dependence, failure a...
- Irritability/anger. I’ve met many clients over the years who come to therapy for anger management or irritability and somewhere around the third session mention that their partners thought they have been particularly more irritable in the last six months since their father died or mother died.
- Continued obsessing/missing of the other. Obsessing about what happened and why and feeling those pangs of sadness and loss are part and parcel of normal grief, particularly in the weeks following.
- Hyperalertness/fear of loss. After a loss, life can seem more fragile, a person can feel more vulnerable, the world can seem unsafe. In response to these thoughts and feelings, the person may become hypersensitive and alert, now wired to be prepared for the worse.
- Behavioral overreaction. With any significant loss, consciously or not, we make a decision about how we need to be to avoid dealing with such pain and trauma again.
Dec 13, 2022 · Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing. Signs and symptoms of complicated grief may include: Intense sorrow, pain and rumination over the loss of your loved one. Focus on little else but your loved one's death.
Feb 15, 2021 · Grieving over the death of a spouse, friend, or family member exposes people to constant stress that can lead to anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, and more. Strategies to lower and manage stress can help people get through the grieving process.
